Sweet Sorrow?

Coming to college, I was just short of terrified at the thought of beginning my first college English class. In high school, I had always been friends with older students who, for better or for worse, skewed my opinions on almost everything after recounting their experiences to me. Especially when it came to my schoolwork. For four years, I knew exactly which classes to take, which classes were easy, which classes to avoid like the plague. But after graduation, their guidance was gone and, with no preconceived notions, I naturally assumed the worst. English in college would be terrible: a new paper due every week, extensive analysis on every aspect of the literary world, and there would be hot coals and we would be forced to walk across them despite our tender freshmen feet. I was filled with pure dread.

But this first semester has been nothing like I had imagined and I find it difficult to describe the relief I feel. We had far fewer assignments than I had initially anticipated but they still managed to fill my time quite nicely. Not having to read novels and then tear them apart for symbolic content was exceedingly refreshing and a welcome change form the English classes I had taken in high school. I think that the curriculum broke up the components of these assignments in a way that made them extremely manageable and produced better papers overall. I believe that because of the class structure and feedback I received I have grown significantly as a writer. Next to the absence of hot coals, this was the most welcome surprise.

Having to turn in the outline of my paper was a blessing in disguise when it came to getting my work done on time. I remember feeling overwhelming stressed out that week and the approaching due date of the outline only added insult to injury.  But when it came to actually getting the work done, it worked wonders. There was something so helpful about putting my thoughts down on paper like that that really helped me to have a better understanding of what my paper should be about. Although I thought it was a colossal waste of my time at first, it ended up saving me so much extra time when it came to writing the actual paper because I already knew what I needed to say. Outlining is definitely going to become a regular practice when it comes to writing papers in the future.

While I really enjoyed my English class this semester, I do wish that it had incorporated more class discussion. What drew me to English in high school was the intellectual debate that accompanied our coursework.  I have always enjoyed exchanging ideas with intelligent minds to further my understanding of subject matter, and while the prospect of ‘intelligent minds’ is a bit ambitious when it comes to a freshman prerequisite course, discussion is almost always helpful on at least some level. It allows the class a whole to grow more comfortable around one another and makes it easier to evaluate the work of your peers when you feel relaxed around them. Arbitrary comments in class are hardly enough to express intelligence and personality to fellow students. I am sure that most of the people in our class concluded that I was some kind of autistic based on all of my sleep related commentary but despite popular belief, I am not. If we had been able to share our thoughts and insights in class more often, I am sure that people would have felt more comfortable with me peer editing their work or working in their group.