Do it for the Children

Do not cancel class on Friday for our sake.  Do it for yours.  You work way too hard not to get a day off every once in a while.  You probably wake up around nine  everyday after a long night of grading papers and eating sour patch kids.  It would be so refreshing to be able to wake up at one or even two in the afternoon.  This is an opportunity to turn off your alarm and just avoid the hassle of getting up.  You would not have to bother preparing for another day of classes or even thinking about class.  We are offering you the opportunity to avoid all that stress.  Think about all the work you could avoid doing by sleeping in really late. 

If procrastinating is not your thing just think about all the extra work you could get done in the time when you don't have class.  It would be exciting to go sit in Starbucks with your laptop, your coffee, and your bag of sour patch kids and just work on your thesis.  Think of how much work you could get done with the caffeine/sugar rush and an hour of free time.  You would not be able to enjoy that wonderfully hyperactive rush if you had to sit in class and babysit us for an hour.

Think of this as a birthday present from us, your sour patch kids.  We care way too much about you to let you wallow in the hardships class brings you.  Even though your class is by far our favorite we would be willing to miss it on Friday for your sake.  So now that you know how much your health and happiness mean to us, surely you must accept this wonderful gift we are giving you and cancel class on Friday.  And don't worry about thanking us, your happiness is more than thanks enough (although the brownies were really appreciated).  You are welcome!